Pittsburgh's Point State Park -- Where geese reign and human fun is a no-no

Nannies running Toronto have just outlawed tobogganing in 45 parks in the name of safety, earning it the name 'No Fun City.' Pittsburgh was far ahead of that dumb curve in policing Point Park.

The City of Toronto has just outlawed tobogganing at 45 city parks in the name of safety — which is further proof that life in Canada has been captured by nannies, lawyers and tyrants and is no longer a great nation.

For decades public parks and government spaces in the USA have been wrecked by over-regulation that outlaws recreational things like biking, skating and even Frisbee-tossing in the name of protecting everyone from being bruised, bumped or scratched by human activities.

In 2003 I wrote this column for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review lamenting what the nannies had done to the city’s iconic but virtually un-usuable downtown park, Point State Park.

Point State Park a few summers ago.

A really honking-bad park

August, 2003

More geese than people.

That's nothing new at sleepy Point State Park, just symbolic.

More geese than people is what you get after you let government own and operate one of the most spectacular geographic spots in all North America for half a century.

The historic park at the tip of Downtown is Pittsburgh's signature green space. On a lovely August afternoon, it should be noisy with human activity of every urban kind. But at 2 p.m. Wednesday, more geese were enjoying Point State Park than humans.

This was no shock to me. Long ago I realized Point State Park -- owned by the state, operated by the city -- was designed not as an urban playground to be used by as many people as possible but as an architectural model to be viewed by urban planners and Chamber of Commerce types from Mt. Washington.

One reason geese regularly outnumber people is geese can't read the signs that redundantly establish the park's unfriendly, unofficial official theme -- "Just say 'No' " and "Quiet, Please."

The sign at the main entrance at Liberty and Commonwealth sets a tone that echoes throughout the park: "NO roller blades, skateboards, bicycles, roller skates, scooters, open fires, charcoal grilling." That's city ordinance 31.96. And please, "NO animals in park during special events" -- the only time, of course, it ever entertains real crowds.

While 36 fat geese waddled around the open heart of the park on Wednesday, a smaller number of Homo sapiens was sprinkled loosely around its silent 37 acres. A few families shepherded young kids. A couple of seasoned citizens sat on benches or strolled the tacky, bumpy, roller-blade-proof, fake-brick asphalt walkways.

A jogger jogged. Two lovebirds cooed on a blanket. A homeless wreck slept on a bench as two young dudes arrived at the Point on mountain bikes. "Hey, arrest those criminals! They're at least 100 yards off the officially designated bike path. Someone might get hurt! Or might sue!"

On the wide concrete rim of the fountain pool, a sleeping sunbather in a two-piece flirted dangerously with city ordinance 473.04: "No swimming. No wading or fishing in the reflecting pool or in the fountain pool." Of course "Violators will be prosecuted."

Rules and regulations stopping humans from doing the very things they naturally want to do when they encounter pools of water and bike trails are what have made Point State Park one of the most people-unfriendly urban parks in the country.

But big plans are afoot to change that deliberately oppressive stupid "passive park" policy. A new master plan has been concocted that half-recognizes humans as the park's main customers and even carefully designates specific areas where they may engage in active (but quiet, non-wheeled and non-commercial) pursuits like Frisbee tossing or pickup soccer games.

The plan is the handiwork of the Riverlife Task Force and the Allegheny Conference of Community Development, the vision-impaired movers-and-shakers whose ancestors brought us East Liberty, the Lower Hill and Allegheny Center Mall. (The results of their micro-managing are posted in painful detail at www.pointstatepark.org .)

Rest assured, as always, those in charge are well-educated, well-meaning, civic-minded citizens. They have gathered input from experts and public alike and they have thought of everything in advance -- from a new visitors center and historical interpretation sites to officially designated "fishing holes."

Their efforts can't help but improve things. But the chance their plans will suddenly transform poor Point State Park into a busy urban fun zone is zero. As long as people like them are in charge of the park, it's always going to appeal more to geese than people.