My talking polar bear epic gets its voice

Thanks to AI and Amazon, my print book about a polar bear who travels to Washington on an iceberg to tell the U.S. Senate to leave his proud species alone has been turned into an audiobook.

My children's book 'Grandpa Bear Goes to Washington: The fantastic voyage of a freedom loving polar bear' has, miraculously, thanks to AI, been turned into an audio book.

It has glitches -- some mis-inflections and mis-pronounciations -- but it's amazingly well done. I could have used the voice of a British lady, but I chose an American man.

Based on the content of my ebook edition, the audiobook took less than five minutes to create, price and publish.

Here's the synopsis:

"Grandpa is a heroic, freedom-loving polar bear from East Greenland who understands that his proud species is in far greater danger from the interventions of the federal government, overzealous wildlife scientists and Hollywood celebrities than from man-made global warming. He and his family live in a parallel, comfortable and modern world that humans cannot see and know nothing about. When he learns the U.S. Senate plans to add polar bears to the Endangered Species List he blows his top because he knows that it will mean tight government control over every part of their perfectly safe and happy lives. He decides he must travel to Washington on an iceberg and appear as an expert witness at the Senate’s Endangered Species hearings. He takes his daughter and grandson with him on his dangerous voyage and tells the politicians that polar bears only want the same freedoms all citizens have -- and to be left alone. The massive media coverage of Grandpa’s stirring “Declaration of Polar Bear Independence” in the Senate (not to mention his ability to talk) shocks the world."

While we wait for the hotshots at Pixar to discover "Grandpa Bear," or the 'Save the Polar Bear' crowd to sue me, word has it that the print version is a best-seller in the Arctic Circle.

Sadly, only one human -- TF -- has written a review. It's a five-star piece of perfection, however:

"Great to read with our kids to help them think carefully about government and the environment."

Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2023
Verified Purchase

"As parents we've been surprised and discouraged to see how many contemporary children's books and shows are riddled with baseless assumptions and fear-mongering about the environment, with the government offered as the only solution to pollution, etc. We really enjoyed reading this book with our son to help him think more carefully about government and the environment."

The libertarian historian, economist, podcaster and prolific propagandist of freedom Tom Woods was kind enough to have me on his podcast to talk about my long career in newspapers and help me sell my subversive children's book.